Gypsies Tramps & Thieves

Summer is just around the corner and that means vacation time beckons. Most American families load up the SUV (and sometimes even strap the pets to the roof of the car) and head out to see America, and by ‘see America’ we mean parents pointing out fascinating landmarks to their overfed mindless meatsack children in the backseat who instead stare at an overhead DVD screen showing a Pixar film that they have watched, like, a million times already, while shoving fistfuls of Chicken McNuggets into their slackjawed gaping maws while wondering if the next Hampton Inn has a swimming pool where they can stand chest-deep in the water while air bubbles slowly escape the fleshly folds of their lardaceous bodies.

Then dinner at Golden Corral.

But if you’re the Palin family you make a big show of taking the family on a well-publicized bus tour of Real America:

In a move designed to propel her closer to a presidential run, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will set out on a bus tour of the country on Sunday, making stops at symbolic sites along the way.

“Starting this weekend, Sarah Palin will embark on a ‘One Nation’ tour of historical sites that were key to the formation, survival, and growth of the United States of America,” SarahPAC treasurer Tim Crawford said in a statement to RealClearPolitics. “The tour will originate in Washington, D.C. It will proceed north up the east coast.”

[...]

Members of Palin’s immediate family are expected to join her on the trip, which will eventually take her through key early-voting states.

This way Sarah can escape her Wasilla hellmouth before moving into her newer hellmouthier drug lord compound in Arizona, spend some minimal time with kids (Branchwater, Chigger Mae, Cordite, and Fetch) and get SarahPac (home of fleeced money from rubes and serial masturbators) to pay for the whole shebang.

Further information on the tour will be made available on the recently redesigned SarahPAC.com, rather than Palin’s Facebook page, which she has used in the past to make key statements and announcements.

Using SarahPAC’s web site to spread the word about the trip carries the benefit of directing Palin’s supporters to a difficult-to-miss form where they can donate to her Political Action Committee.

No word on whether the recently refurbished Bristol Palin will be along for the ride but we can assume that, should she bring her latest boyfriend with her, Todd will greet him with a “You know which part of the bus you can sit in” before crushing an empty MGD can against his forehead in a show of snowbilly warmth and graciousness.

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